Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Way We Get By




Every so often I tivo things I think I should watch, and then let them languish until the tivo deletes them for less wholesome stuff. So I tivo the pbs program, POV, which is documentaries about ordinary people. The most recent one was called The Way We Get By - which is a terrific title all by itself.

And it's topic and nature surprised me - it's about these elderly folk, some of whom are war veterans themselves, who live in Bangor Maine, which is the principal exit and entry points for US soldiers going to Iraq and Afghanistan. And these people make sure that there are around to greet every single plane that lands with these return soldiers, greeting them, saying thank you. Such a simple thing, but so unexpectedly moving, on both sides of the hand shake.

And it looks at the lives of three of these greeters, these people in their 70's or 80's. And their lives are hard - either loneliness or ill health or financial maters plague them. And yet they have learnt the essential lesson - to make yourself feel better, first help others. And through the helping, they themselves are rewarded, with comradeship, a sense of purpose, thanks. In the giving, they get.

It was a simple but moving film, and I'm glad that I taped it.



Today was a day for stumbling into things I taped... I downloaded this cd ages ago, and promptly forgot about it, and I think a full year or so later, came across it and thought it was one of DH, but listened to the first track. This remarkably British voice, they don't make voices like that anymore, comes out to talk to me about changing my level of magnification. It turns out that Alan Watts was one the 9influential early Western Zen Buddhists who gave many lectures about zen Buddhism. He ws good to listen to too.

So I feel like I've given myself good psychic nutrition today :)

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Visiting old writings



I wrote this in 2003. Most of it is still true. Not struggling with fear as much as I was (good thing) Still want to have magic powers :)

Friday's Five, done on a Saturday night

1. What's one thing you've always wanted to do, but never have? God, there are hundreds of things... been in an orgy, taken really good psychedellic drugs, been more risk taking, I guess.

2. When someone asks your opinion about a new haircut/outfit/etc, are you always honest? No, it depends how much I hate it, but also how much use my comment will be. If you've cut your hair really really short and it looks a million times better long, what is the point of me saying that? If you ask me before hand, what do you think, should I cut it all off, I will definitely give an honest opinion. Ditto clothes. Are we in the store or already at the wedding?

3. Have you ever found out something about a friend and then wished you hadn't? What happened? An internet friend once told me, and another guy, a whole tissue of lies. It surprised me how shocked I was, I mean the internet is all about masks, but aside from anonymity, I am totally honest, and we had known each other for about 6 months, chatting daily. She told all of us she was 21 and it turned out she was 35 with 3 kids. Surprising for me, but devestating for the guy who was thinking of changing continents to be with her!

4. If you could live in any fictional world (from a book/movie/game/etc.) which would it be and why? Hundreds of them and all of them involve magic. I would live in George RR Martin's Fire and Ice world, I would live in the Liaden world (tomorrow, please) I would live in Ursula Le Guin's Wizard of Earthsea world. I think you are seeing the trend here. Actually I think I resent that I can't live in those worlds!

5. What's one talent/skill you don't have but always wanted? Aside from super-hero skills? I want to read minds, I want to sing, I want to be psychic generally, I want to time travel, I want to be fearless :)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

treasures in storage



Had the most momentous month - new baby in the family, such a sweet, sweet angel. We spent too long in hospital with him, but now he is all better.

I also went through our stuff in storage, upset about how much junk there was, and then finding the occasional treasure.

I found this poem I had written when my son was not yet 2 and we were visiting Italy -

In a foreign country
Warm with Mediterranean sun
We seek the cool
of the local museum.

In a fine dusty building
With its impressive courtyard
We carry the pram
Up massive marble steps.

Not giving it much thought
We expected the baby to sleep,
Or failing that, watch the people go by.
But he found another use
For the large empty rooms
And high vaulted ceilings.

As we rushed by golden works of art
Nothing could stop his enchanted chirping
As he experiments with the echoing chambers.
All through the gallery,
His ‘singing’ could be heard.

As I nervously hushed him
One more time
An older woman stopped me,
‘Il contento’, she said, ‘he is happy.’
And we walked into the sunshine smiling.

So happy we have a new baby in our lives... just magic the gifts they give

Monday, August 3, 2009

Making up with make up




I want this. And the stupid thing is, that I barely wear make up.

I have a peculiar relationship with cosmetics. I actually sold cosmetics at the market for 3 years, as my college job, to pay for my car etc, and I loved it. I love the colors, the textures, like coloring in for grown ups. I even wanted to be a make up artist for a time.

So when I saw this professional home airbrushing kit I was filled with lust. Even if I never use it, I still want it (though for $225, I'd better use it occasionally!)

I actually collect cosmetics more than I wear them, but there is something about the colors and the selection, and the playing with them that I just find deeply satisfying.

Luckily I leave for Australia soon, so the need may pass... but then again, if you see me looking flawless in December, you'll know why...

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Quote of the Day

I'll report on the Paul McCartney concert when DH gets his photos off his phone and onto the computer...

... in the meantime, here's a quote of the day:

"Do more than belong: participate. Do more than care: help. Do more than believe: practise. Do more than be fair: be kind. Do more than forgive: forget. Do more than dream: work."

by William Arthur Ward.

Good things to think about...

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Fat Boy Slim



I had one of the best new years eves, ever, on Bondi Beach in Sydney, with 20,000 others, dancing to the amazing mixes of Fat Boy Slim. He has played in Brighton to crowds over 200,000. And then... came New York City. Cosmopolitan mecca full of sophisticates - and no one has heard of him. He's a DJ who produces his own music, he has a great best of album - with the fabulous title of Why Try Harder. He's cool and quirky and all things good. He charged face value tix of $120 for nye and suddenly he's charging $50 and not selling out...

He came out to Manhattan (he's English and UK based) to play in.. Terminal 5 - where we saw Tom Jones. It holds about 3,000 people. It must have been one of his smallest venues in years. I dragged two friends with us (dancing! house music! Excellent!) and literally counted down the days...

Firstly, I love Terminal 5. The roof terrace was opened and it's all so civilized. Just dirty enough to be rock and roll, but totally safe and with clean toilets (important to us over 35 crowd) It is a 3 story venue, with a huge dance floor and cantilevered balconies overlooking. There are places to sit, space to dance, 3 enormous bars, to buy the expensive but not ludicrously so drinks.

Then the master came out. There was that beat that enters your heart and take it over, the flashing lights and video clips that pull you in, the music, it gives you this trance like effect, no drugs needed.




The crowd was warm from the get go, and 10 minutes into the set were were jumping up and down. We danced till our feet hurt and then, all of sudden, it was 2 hours later and the whole thing just closed down - just before midnight, so working people could go home and get up the next day. I love New York! Sydney crowds don't even arrive before midnight and won't so much as rock their hips before 1 am. To find excellent music, a great venue, to start dancing at 10 and be in bed by 1 am... all too good to be true. I wish he was playing every week. I'd be there. I promise...

(this was a late write up, we went on June 24th. So wish he was playing again...)

Friday, July 10, 2009

Two Wolves



I got this one from my cousins on facebook (where else!) but I really liked it, so I'm copying it here...

A Cherokee Legend

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Rules for Old Age



A perfect footnote for the previous entry - from teenagers to the aged, a 90 year old Rabbi talks of the benefits of aging in the New York Times today

He distills 6 benefits:

1. Increased Tranquility. “You have achieved in old age what you have wanted to, if you are fortunate,” he said. The important battles have been waged, the decisions made. “You no longer have to do the pushing, the striving, the struggle.”

2. A kind of zen caring. "You don’t rush to quick action,” Rabbi Haberman explained. “You’re more likely to stop and think.” These days he’s hardly indifferent to the world’s problems, he added, but he’s less inclined to think he can solve them, or that they’re soluble at all.

3.“The art of submission.” Americans are activists by nature, but “more happens to us than we cause to happen,” he has found. “You have to accept the unalterable.”

4. Able to consider the possibility he’s wrong. He labeled “liberation from the compulsion to set everyone else straight.” He has loosened up since his more dogmatic youth.

5. Gratitude - “I’m more conscious of the little favors people do — the driver who stops and lets me cross the street, the newspaper man who brings my paper directly to the door,” Rabbi Haberman said. He feels more aware of humanity’s interconnectedness. “I am a zero by myself.”

6. Connectedness to Family and Community.

You can find the full version of his sermon here

Now if only we could figure all that out when we were teenagers, what extraordinary adults we might become!


undated picture of the Rabbi

Rules for High School Graduates


The Internet is so funny, everyone acknowledges that Bill Gates did not in fact, make up these rules, but they are listed on google sites as 'Bill Gates Rules' as we have apparently all agreed to call them that. Having just argued with DS about manners and not had an open and accepting response, these rules resonated with me:

RULE 1 - Life is not fair, get used to it. (hence this great photo of a seagull snatching the dolphin's fish away. Those sneaky seagulls are everywhere!)

RULE 2 - The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.

RULE 3 - You will NOT make $40,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president with a car phone until you earn both.

RULE 4 - If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure.

RULE 5 - Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger-flipping; they called it opportunity.

RULE 6 - If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

RULE 7 - Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try "delousing" the closet in your own room.

RULE 8 - Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades; they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to anything in real life.

RULE 9 - Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

RULE 10 - Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

RULE 11 - Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Okay, some are a little harsh, and in the work place there are plenty of divas and coasters, just like in High School, but the idea of doing something hard for the intrinsic reward of a feeling of accomplishment, that is something I want to inculcate. And if we are creating rules, I would add - be polite, it costs nothing and leaves a lasting (good) impression.

Friday, June 19, 2009

beautiful images!

I can't capture any of them, so you're going to have to go directly to Zena Holloway's site, but she has so many dreamy, beautiful images. She specializes in underwater photography and there are just so many perfect images to chose from, but the one of the baby with his head above the water but swimming like a small elephant... just gorgeous!

Monday, June 15, 2009

A perfect poem



for expressing how I feel -

Walking Away, by C Day Lewis

It is eighteen years ago, almost to the day –
A sunny day with leaves just turning,
The touch-lines new-ruled – since I watched you play
Your first game of football, then, like a satellite
Wrenched from its orbit, go drifting away

Behind a scatter of boys. I can see
You walking away from me towards the school
With the pathos of a half-fledged thing set free
Into a wilderness, the gait of one
Who finds no path where the path should be.

That hesitant figure, eddying away
Like a winged seed loosened from its parent stem,
Has something I never quite grasp to convey
About nature’s give-and-take – the small, the scorching
Ordeals which fire one’s irresolute clay.

I have had worse partings, but none that so
Gnaws at my mind still. Perhaps it is roughly
Saying what God alone could perfectly show –
How selfhood begins with a walking away,
And love is proved in the letting go.

This poem first appeared in the collection The Gate and Other Poems, published in 1962. It is dedicated to Day-Lewis’s first son, Sean, and recalls a day when he was watching Sean go in to school. It has become one of his most enduring works and in 2001 was chosen by readers of the Radio Times as one of their top ten poems of childhood.

A fellow parent sent it to our class and I just loved it. Gifts through email... (and now via a blog... )

Friday, June 12, 2009

Letting things go

I haven't written for the past two days because I've been searching for the perfect image but I've stopped letting the perfect get in the way of the good, and am writing anyways...



I've been going through my closets which are now as neat as they will ever be, throwing things out. (the above image is clearly fantasy.) I have obeyed my three year rule - I have to wear something once every 3 years, or it can't live in my cupboard anymore, and am so grateful that Housingworks opened a shop around the corner so I can go and give my good enough clothes a new home.

It's funny, how I like throwing things out, it makes me feel lighter and less cluttered in my soul somehow, to have my space leaner and cleaner. Though I don't feel like that about my writing at all, have to keep every scrap there, and don't feel like that about people either. I hate it when people leave.

We are all leaving in my world right now. I've been so affiliated with DS's school, and as he leaves elementary school and moves on to middle school, I can see lots of change and flux.

I realize I'm not a 21st century gal after all. I don't relish change and I don't multi-task well. I like depth and stability. But I also appreciate life cycles and I can see one taking place now, and as change comes, as space forms, new things can grow... So I'm simultaneously trying to let go and hold on... no wonder I can't find the closet picture that portrays that!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Insights from the shower


I had a realization in the shower the other day - and where better to get clarity, with all that water sluicing off you, taking away dirt and sleep and making everything citrusy and fresh again (I'm a bit of a water fetishist)

Anyways, I had an insight - I don't multitask well. I'm more of a drill deep kind of girl. Even when I was PTA president and there was a lot on, things went in a linear fashion and didn't conflict with each other, and if there were conflicts, you could say, hey, there's something already in that spot, find another...

But now I'm in 4 distinct groups, none of which need to intersect, and all seem to be booking the same day for very important events, and I feel torn and discombobulated. I can't say, hey there's a conflict, change the date, as I am the only one with the conflict. Instead I have to make choices, and each one is a delicate weighing of scales, and leaves no one, least of all me, satisfied.

The thing that is easiest and quickest to jettison is personal life. I had the opportunity to go to London this w/e - DH is going for work, we could just sneak into his room and for the cost of a plane tix have a very pleasant stay, catch up with dearly beloved friends. But so many things are going on here, that I honestly felt I couldn't go, and in the end declined.

What sort of life is that, where you turn down trips to London to go to the Taste of Tribeca on Saturday (I'm a member of the Taste board and it's an event I sincerely love), and three other meetings on Thursday (board member for 2 of them, steering committee member for another), and one on Wednesday (community board member) It's really just ridiculous.

I have one husband, one child, and clearly can only take on one in depth commitment at a time...

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Thought for the Day



“You don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note.”*

I guess I'm really feeling pulled in a lot of different directions right now, and striving for harmony, especially with issues around an organization I just joined. I have to say that is a very helpful notion - if we all just agreed, it would be stagnant. Lots of decent people are trying to bring different ideas to the table, all with the fear that if we don't find harmony, things will change. It will all be sound and fury, signifying nothing.

I know what the answer is - things are changing all the time. Noise is part of the melody, we can't all sing the same note, and indeed we ourselves change range as age and other life matters impress upon us. However I still feel anxious. I value this entity and the thought of it changing/going is sad...




*said by someone called Doug Floyd who may or may not be a good person to follow, but I liked this quote.

Monday, May 4, 2009

catching up

I've got so many new stories to tell and I never even finished Vegas!



So La Reve - beautiful but not as good as Love, and then DH told me that it wasn't a Cirque show, but a copy, and somehow you could tell - the edges weren't as crisp... However the high dives and some of the visuals were breathtaking, it just wasn't as cohesive as Love.

In the meantime we also went and saw West Side Story (back in Manhattan now) DH loves it and I'm very familiar with the music but realized I'd never seen it on stage, I'd only ever seen the movie.



It was a very weird experience, because it is a piece I love, but I thought it was such a bad interpretation, the lovers were unbelivable, I didn't care about them at all (even though Maria had pipes, no question there) and the all the male parts were uniformly dreadful. No energy, no bite, no sense of them being 3 dimensional people with back story, just flat. The women were better and the dance numbers better still but I was frankly bored.

I sat and wriggled and looked at the audience - and the audience - loved it! Clapped and whistled and cheered. I felt so out of sync. And yet, as we walked out, no one was talking about the show. It was like they focused on it for 2 hours and then forgot it as they walked out the door, already on to the next thing. But they applauded and stood (I refused. Really, I didn't enjoy it at all.) But I don't get it when I'm so not with the audience. What were they cheering? What did they connect to that I couldn't see? So odd experience on all counts.

DH and DS are still listening daily to the CD of Love that we bought at the Vegas show and DH is raving about the orchestrations etc... so that show is definitely lingering.

This week I've been suffering terribly from hayfever and both prescription medication and over the counter stuff is not helping, and then I remembered that I have an air filter that I use every year, sitting and waiting for this season - sometimes it's so hard to be an adult and remember how to look after yourself!

Monday, April 20, 2009

letters...



More about Vegas soon, I promise, but this is the sort of thing that I love- an article about the letters that Obama receives. He really reads 10 letters from strangers a day? God, where does he find the time. That man must have every spare moment accounted for. I was thinking that's probably why he smokes, it gives him a moment of solitude.

And this, of course, is the letter I think he should have received:

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Vegas dreaming...

DH has been to Vegas many times, he reckons he spent nearly 2 months in a one year period for work. It's my first time. People say it's like Disney for grown ups and I think they are right. Even as you leave the air port, the streamlined efficiency of the cab service makes you relax, as their competent smiling efficiency takes hold. I thought about how to catch a cab from JFK is all chance and chaos, and wondered why they couldn't set up this smooth system (20 cabs fill up at once, drive off, 20 more cabs swoop in, the line jumps forward, you're in your cab within minutes.)



But you don't want to read about me nattering about cabs. We're staying at the Venetian, a huge, huge hotel thousands of rooms in this faux roman decadence complete with canal and a mock St Martin's Square in perpetual twilight (pictured above.) All very glam and clever. The only problem is that the hotel is so big, each individual guest is small potatoes and their service is appalling - everything takes for ever, and even to complain takes 10 mins on hold before you can talk to a human. To our amusement the music from Phantom plays endlessly in the elevators, as the 90 min version of the Phantom of the Opera is playing here. The elevators are very luxe, there are paintings on the ceilings in true baroque fashion, and the faux canal is fun, but I don't like it here and we won't return.

Vegas itself, on the other hand, has been a blast. So far we've seen 2 shows - a preview of Peep Show (which opened tonight) and Love, by Cirque de Soleil, music by the Beatles.



I've not seen much burlesque, so I can't judge Peepshow against other shows of it's kind, but it was kind of... unerotic. The woman whose body I liked best was Mel B. (pictured above) ex Spice girl (Scary Spice) the rest were just too skinny or Barbie doll for me, not quite real enough. The skits that were more classic porn - girls bending provocatively over cars, girls in cheerleader uniforms stripping down to g-strings - they worked least for me. The scenes where there was some emotional content (even if that emotion was laughter) worked better. The girl flirting with her salacious stuffed bear, the girl falling in love with the amazing guy in the bath (great acrobatic scene) but even there, the emotion was all veneer. As a piece it didn't work for me, though I imagine as it beds in it will get better.



But then I hadn't seen any other Vegas shows, so didn't really have anything to compare it to. Tonight we went and saw Love at the Mirage. My goodness - dreams made flesh. Just so many beautiful, beautiful images, set against such classic music. To listen to the music, so wonderfully produced, to see those images, to be in that moment. I just loved it. I can't rave enough. I've seen about 4 Cirque shows, but they were all travelling shows in tents. This is the first one I've seen in a theatre that was purpose built for the show. Oh the things they could do with light and movement. It was both graceful and evocative, and very moving. As we walked out, I wanted to go straight back in and see it again.

And tomorrow we go to La Reve ... many things to look forward to!

Monday, April 6, 2009

An oldie but a goodie...

This one always makes me laugh and wince at the same time:

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Retelling the Hagadah, as if it were on face book...



Very funny page, telling the story of Passover, in facebook format. A friend on facebook (where else!) recommended it, and he's right, it's great.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Always Amazon




I've been debating whether or not to buy a Kindle - I'm it's target audience, in that I read at least two books a week, and books are often the most space consuming thing I have in my suitcase when we travel.

One might think the Kindle is a no brainer - but I'm also an avid supporter (ie user) of new york's public libraries. - There are one million books at my finger tips, all I have to do is order them online and mysteriously they appear at my local branch, and I get an email telling me when they are ready. Really, who could ask for anything more. The first kindle would not let me read books downloaded from the library. That's like an ipod only letting you play music bought from itunes, no uploading your own cd's, no other formats accepted. The new Kindle is a bit more accepting, but it still really prefers you to get your books from Amazon. It's geared for that and while you can do this thing of emailing texts to your special amazon account and them then uploading it for you... well, that's not welcoming enough for me. When I combine that with the $359 cover price, it's not so appealing.

Last night I was on amazon at midnight (is there a better time?) and found the perfect birthday present for DS's friend. But it wouldn't arrive in time if I took the free post option. And I looked at the amazon prime option they are always trying to sell me, anything delivered within 2 days, no $25 minimum, includes grocery items, all for the quite expensive sum of $80. And I say to DH shall I get the one month free option (which we both know means upgrading at the end of the month) and he said, well you use it alot, and I thought, it will deliver more than the kindle (can't download my coffee - (which I know is suspect and others find disgusting, but it's a legitmate line of coffee) which Food Emporium has decided to stop stocking and I can only get it on line now. Thank goodness for Amazon!) and in that moment I made my decision, no kindle, but yes to amazon prime... let the ordering commence

Friday, March 27, 2009



I know I've already blogged today, but this is so suits my needs right now - I went to 3 meetings about overcrowding and the education system this week (and I could have gone to 4, thank goodness DH had a work function for me to attend!) and dark and difficult they were (and informative and frustrating and useful, I don't mean to demean them or my companions who go with me, I just get tired sometimes that the good fight is taking so damned long!) and here is a colourful exploration of education and democracy, a gift!

Just in Case vs Just in Time




You know when you hear a new idea and you just know it's right...

So a friend of mine was telling me about Just in Case vs Just in time, how it impacts manufacturing (do you keep nuts and bolts just in case you need them, taking up cash and inventory space, or do you keep abreast of what you need and order them, just in time. Traditional manufacturing used to have a lot of just in case stuff lying around, leaner, more profitable manufacturing keeps it's cash and inventory freer and orders things to be just in time. Of course, you need some sensitivity and balance here, but that's the idea in a nutshell) and, more importantly (for me!) are you doing this in your life (as I have no factories to manage.)

Certainly in my life I have plenty of Just in Case (JIC) things in my cupboard - sensible things, like medicines that I don't need now, but keep just in case I get a cold, and, many more foolish things I keep, just in case I might want day need them, or even more likely, find a use for them. I'm actually not one of those people who have great emotional difficulty throwing things out. I like clutter free zones. So if even I can immediately see I have way too many JIC items in my house, I'm pretty sure everyone does.

And I feel that a lot of this JIC stuff is taking up way too much psychic (and financial!) inventory. Sometimes there's not enough room for new thoughts, new people, new ideas in our lives, because we are so cluttered with the backlog of JIC stuff that we are carrying around. I think I could discard some of it and have more options to collect things JIT.

But when I went to google this phrase, I came across all sorts of interesting blogs/information of JIC vs JIT and learning (don't you just love the internet!) Lots of computer people are writing about how we learn - how the entire school learning seems to be JIC information - in case you become a doctor, you need to know this, learn it now, it has no outside world relevance now but learn it any case. There are studies that prove learning information that has no extraneous use is harder to both learn and recall, than learning information that you need to know now (JIT knowledge.) One eg given was - if you buy a new phone and read the instructions, and put them into effect, you are far more like to remember them, than if you read instructions for a phone you don't own and may never want.

Well, if you put it like that, obviously you aren't going to recall the technical specs for phones you don't own or want. But that is how we approach a lot of our teaching of high school kids. And the second I read that I knew it to be true. I know it to be true from my own life experience (how much of what we sweated to learn have we ever referred to in later years?) and from what I see of students learning today.

I do believe there is knowledge that people should have just to be citizens of the world - you don't have to know every historical fact, but a sense of history gives you a sense of time and place, even if you don't know why you need to know it right now. However, if you embed history in a story that the students find relevant they are far more likely to listen in the first place and be able to recall it later.

Ditto with science and math. If I give you math problems which are totally abstract (my personal bete noir - if two trains from different stations leave at different times and lots of other details, when will they meet?) solving them is complex and formulaic. But if I tell you, you have $117.37 to buy your favorite songs, but, and add in complications/give you 12% extra or something else, now tell me how much music you can buy.. (or, if you want an adult eg - you bought your house for X amount/square foot, now, it's selling for Y amount/sqf, what's the new total - I've seen people do that in their head after a bottle of wine!) Embedding the knowledge in personally relevant information moves the learning from JIC to JIT, and makes everything easier...

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Encouraging young writers



For the young writers in your life -

I was photocopying flyers in the basement of my son's school (people are dazzled that I can get the photocopyer to both collate and staple!) and came across this poem that someone had overcopied and left a few sheets behind;

It's a Writing Kind of Day

It is raining today,
a writing kind of day.

Each word hits the page
like a drop in a puddle,
creating a tiny circle

of trembling feeling

that ripples out
and gathers strength
ringing towards the stars

by Ralph Fletcher.

It reminded me of Love that Dog by Sharon Creech that I bogged about previously.
I'm always looking for ways to encourage DS to write, and I loved that poem (probably much more than he did) but Ralph Fletcher also has a page called Tips for Young Writers on his site, and I hoping DS will like some of the suggestions there...

Sunday, March 22, 2009

the new music

So this genius with way too much time on his hands has created this piece by overlaying a host of youtube clips and creating a new piece of music. I love it, like making art out of trash, he's combined 10 or so clips to make a cohesive whole. And it gives strength to the illusion that we are all part of some grand orchestra, that we could all hear if we only stood far back enough...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

measuring my inner bitch


Me at Food Emporium buying pancetta

I'd like it an inch thick

He cuts me a hair thin slice

I say no, much thicker, an inch thick

He cuts me a wafer thin slice

I say no, an inch thick

He says an inch is relative

and without thinking I say, no, an inch is an absolute measurement.

And he slices me the width I want (which, realistically, was no more than half an inch)

And I laughed to myself, an inch is a relative term.. well, not really.

Friday, March 13, 2009

We will transcend..

So two things about women and friendship and marriage -

First, saw the excellent Gods of Carnage on Tuesday night. I described it later as 'Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf, with Hamsters'. Viciously funny, full of real belly laughs, full of lines you've either said yourself or heard or thought of. Two couples meet after the 11 year old son of one, has hit the other son of the other, and broken a tooth... What a juicy place to start!

I told everyone to go and see it 'but only if your marriage is in a good space - then you hear it and laugh. If your marriage is at all fragile, don't go and see it. It's too close to the bone.' as we watch the 2 couples expose all.

And then a friend emailed me this you tube clip, and I cried, as it described women's friendships as we go along in life, and how it helps, just as I returned from breakfast with a new clique of girls I have met, and like. This year I feel unusually rich in friendship, and what a gift that is... seven years in the country and finally I feel I have roots, and friends, and opportunities. It's a good place to be.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

How many of you expect to die?



How many of you expect to die is the title for one of the blog postings about aging in the New York Times

The father of a friend of mine died last week. He was 87, in good health until the last intervention, living at home and not in diapers. They discovered cancer, gave him his first session of chemo, he had an allergic reaction to the chemo and a week later he was gone.

To my mind, this is not a bad passing. A long active life, a life lived at home and still of sound mind, a quick, relatively painless, relatively inexpensive death (one fear that lingers for many Americans is that the titanic efforts at the end of their lives, to extend it by a year or two, will eat their house, and leave nothing for their children. Frankly, I feel this fear to be real and true for me.)

When I think about how I want to die, the answer is always, in my 80's I want to be diagnosed with cancer, get 3 months to put my affairs in order (yes, my will is written, but really, do I want someone else to go through my old underpants? Surely I can throw out the 20 almost empty bottles of perfume in my cupboard and not make my son look and wonder why I ever kept them) throw one last cocktail party, buy a really expensive something for each (any?) of the grandkids, and then, without chemo but with painkillers, quietly make my way... I like the scenario, it gives the illusion of control, of not leaving behind a mess.

I do think we don't talk enough about death. I know the Victorians fetishized it, but we've really taken to acting like we are going to live forever, and somehow astonished when it's proved otherwise.

Of course no one in their 40's expects to die, and yet, there was that awful plane crash the other day, and car accidents happen every hour. I have organized a living will (please pull the plug, take my eyes, take my liver if you think it will do any good... it's just meat by then, and the thought that my final act/choice could improve someone's life substantially gives me a sense of comfort.) made my wishes known to friends and family (I'm sparing my son, he's only 11, but I imagine when he's 21 I'll give him an envelope with final instructions, so he doesn't have wrenching decisions without any guidelines)

I would encourage everyone reading this to do the same... It's actually far easier to do it when we are all healthy and active, than have to make these decisions in the harsh light of the hospital waiting room...

Monday, March 2, 2009

much to celebrate

Last Saturday we had a party. We usually have one a year but somehow I think it's been 2 since our last one... This year we were celebrating 7 years since we moved to NYC, DH turned 46 and our marriage turned 21.

One friend had googled it and found out that 21 years of marriage is brass, and got us a brass ornament. A very sweet thought - though we both agreed that those rankings need to be reassessed. I think brass, if it's going to be anything, should be 2 years max, and by the time we get to 21 years, it should be emeralds at the very least! 10 can be silver, 15 gold, none of this paper and common metal stuff.

It's always lovely to put all your friends in a room and watch them interact. I'm always surprised that they don't all know each other! Somehow I think if I know them, they must be friends with each other as well. And then the odd connections that do happen, 2 friends figuring out that they went to the same elementary school (both raised and remaining in NYC) Others that they work in the same field. All of them friendly and interested in each other. And in a cultural difference, where in Sydney you invite people for 7.30 and they turn up at 9, in NYC everyone was there by 8. The last stragglers left at 12.30. It was a really fun night.

For the first time, we hired a bar tender. He was a great addition, we're definitely having one when ever we have another party! So drinks were taken care of. I, as per usual, worried over much about the food (though spent only 3 days obsessing, not even a full week, so I would say I was almost relaxed.) I made gazpacho and put them in tiny 2 mouthful cups, and that was very successful. DS baked a carrot cake and I made this so called flourless cake which was more like a giant truffle, that I cut into tiny portions, topped with a raspberry.

There was much laughter and chat, and afterwards I realized that I hadn't taken any photos and in that oddly adult way, I have 12 million shots of my child, and even my friends children, but very few of my friends, and certainly none of them with me. But DH said he had thought of it, but didn't want to, it would make it seem stilted, and I agreed, where better to be purely in the moment than at a party...

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Jonesing for Tom


We had the best time last night - we went and saw a 68 yo sing, and he sounded just fabulous, voice and form fit and flying. Yes, we went and saw Tom Jones, and it was so tongue in cheek and fun, and the songs were terrific, and he sold each one with perfect grace and sincerity and a great voice! He also danced, wiggled and even growled once or twice for us, and we laughed and cheered and sang along with him. (this clip is from a recent tv show, the clips taken on people's phones just have too crap quality, he's more mesmerizing than this in a live venue) I can't believe how many of his lyrics I know! No wonder I can't remember any one's name, all my brain's filing cabinets are taken up with lyrics to obscure songs!

He was performing at Terminal 5. I'd never been there before but knew I was going to the right place when I looked up the reviews. they were uniformly negative, because, as one reviewer put it - 'the crowd is so old, most people were over 35!' It's not a theatre - it's a club venue, mainly standing room though a few sofas and stools on the upper floors. For once I wasn't the oldest person in the room, in fact I was perfectly placed. The crowd was just there to have a good time, everyone relaxed and happy. The space was crowded, but pleasantly so - enough for a great energy, but not too packed, you could move and dance easily. (a couple of thousand? I'm really bad a judging crowds, esp standing ones)

And Tom - well he's been doing this forever. Many of those songs were well over 30 years old (His first hit, It's not Unusual, was released in 1965!!) He's not doing this to pay the mortgage. He's doing it because he loves it. He gave such terrific energy, and he got it all back. The audience was beaming, and he loved it too. It was a pleasure to watch someone with a terrific voice but also great showmanship just shining with joy.

As he sang It's not Unusual, the man in his mid forties next to us ripped off his shirt, tore of his undershirt and threw it at the stage and then proceeded to dance bare chested, tats writhing as he jumped about (our friend beside us said, well that's a little unusual...) Most of us weren't quite that exuberant but we were all dancing and yes, I did see quite a few bits of coloured fabric thrown at the stage.

It was just such sheer fun! A night of real delight. He's really much better than live than in his albums. I'm now on the hunt for a live recording to see if the magic translates there...

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I hope you dance...

We've been watching American Idol (I know, I know, but it's not just getting all 3 of us sitting down at the same time, I actually like it now...) and I heard a few singers sing a song I'd never heard of - I hope you dance, by Lee Ann Womack (who I imagine is hugely famous, but I don't know her stuff either) I have to say, that I don't actually love the original version, though I do like that she's singing to her daughters, but I liked the lyrics, so here they are:

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)


Really, what a lovely blessing to ask for your children... or even yourself :)

With the wonders of the internet, I found that while Lee Ann Womack made the song famous, it was in fact written by Tia Sillers and Mark D. Sanders, and there is a version by Tia Sillers on itunes, which I like better than the Womack one - more gritty and sad...

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

the only thing I'm spending money on..

... is books and travel. Funny how recessions reveal your true priorities!

All my Internet clothes baskets languish as I think, I really don't need another long sleeved top (and I'm right, I really don't!) but I'm still filling my amazon orders (even if I am reading the reviews more carefully, some of those reviewers are far too easily pleased!) and we've just arranged an impromptu trip to Salt Lake City, which I'm very excited about, I've never been to that part of the US, and even if the boys are skiing, I'll have time to look around a totally new city in a totally new landscape. Now that is something I don't need, but really do appreciate :)

Monday, February 16, 2009

haunting... watch it twice

A friend on facebook had a link to this clip, Lost in the Moment. of people just sitting and eating in Japan. I usually try to avoid youtube clips, but there is something haunting about this... the music is just perfect and you really are a fly on the wall, watching people who don't notice you... Gives you that sad lost feeling... (of course, if you don't want that sad lost feeling, don't click!)

And if you want to wash away the sad feeling - watch this Heineken commercial...

Friday, February 13, 2009

Plane Crashes

There is something about plane crashes that always hits close to home for me. There is always someone I know, catching a plane to somewhere, and it always feels like there could be someone I know in that particular crash, though, thank God, that has actually not happened.

But I was moved to tears by the news that the recent plane crash of Continental Express Flight 347, which left no survivors, had carried a widow of a man who died in one of the twin towers in 9/11. It just seemed like too much random bad luck. My thoughts and prayers are with the families of the survivors...

Monday, February 9, 2009

It starts to be seen...

Last September/October everywhere I went people were discussing the economy, in the packed restaurants, in the full stores, people were splashing out credit cards and talking about the economic collapse. I said to DH, I hear about it, but I don't see it. And he said, wait till Jan.

Well, it's early Feb, and as I walk around Tribeca, it appears thriving, there are well dressed children on the streets. The restaurants are still reasonably full, though there are articles appearing saying that they've lost 30% of their trade - and knowing how thin restaurant break evens are, that 30% was their profit...

But as I walk down the side streets, all those weird, sweet boutiques, who sold hand bags and shoes for ridiculous prices, one by one they are closing. Along Duane and Reade, the two prime Tribeca streets, loads of foot traffic, loads of exposure, stores are empty. Further up, on Hudson, store fronts are papered over, looking like they are planning to be empty for some time. I feel for those small shop owners, whose product was all cream - no necessities, only luxuries. The girls clothes shop on Duane is now telling customers to gather their friends and bring them in, otherwise they will close too.

And I think about how the rents have almost doubled over the past five years, which is what is really killing these shops. I only hope the store owners have the sense to see that not many folk are going to be opening new boutiques in the near future, and it may be worth their while to take in a much reduced rent - cover the taxes and common charges - rather than leave the stores empty. I guess as they see more shops empty out, their perspective too will change.

Everyone was making so much money for so long, they lost sight of how crazy the whole thing was. Rents really need to drop here, go back at least 2 years worth of over pricing, but probably even 5. Then everyone will have a bullet to bite. But as I keep saying if you are planning on staying put, the real estate can fluctuate, but you'll end up okay. Or if you sell in a bad market, but also buy in bad market, you can still do okay - as long as you bought 20 years ago and a mortgage doesn't factor in!

Friday, January 30, 2009

It was seven years ago today

that we first landed in the USA...

It's our seven year anniversary of living in New York. Prior to that we had also lived in London for 8 years.

I have to say that I have made far better and deeper friends here than I ever did in London and feel more connected and part of this city. There's a vibrancy here, a sense that interesting people come out and try to bring out the best from themselves. Of course Manhattan is also a bitch goddess who makes you feel poor no matter how much you have (there are always those with so, so much more) and talentless (there are always those who are so, so much more talented) but there's a buzz, a sense of potential, of things happening, that you can dip into and let it carry you along.

So here's to a very happy seven years, with God only knows how many to follow....

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

It's the banker's girls fault...

I read two stories today in the nyt and maybe it was that there were 2 of them, but I feel a rant coming on...

First I read, It's the Economy Girlfriend, where girlfriends and the occassional wife/mistress of bankers were interviewed, saying how their masters of the universe were now clingy and depressed and in the words of one wife (!) 'that's not what I signed up for.'

That article took me to this blog, dabagirls (Dating a Banker, Anonymous) where the comments became more explicit, and the attitudes even clearer. The 'God you are so 24' blog really did it for me. I mean, he's having an affair but he's right - she's complaining that they haven't had a holiday since September and he's telling her he has to lay off 20 people this week... Really, he should just stick to the wife, I don't think his nerves can take the 24 yo narcissim right now (I know mine can't.)

And then we see what happens when these DABA's grow up in the next article - Everybody's Business. The author is so kind when he describes his dear friend, the divorced woman who took on a 2.2 million dollar interest only mortgage (!) that she has no chance of paying off, ever, and has her ex giving her $20K p/month and her current boyfriend paying off her credit card bills and only now she's anxious.

And I just feel angry. What are these women thinking? How could she take on so much debt? If I were in her shoes, I couldn't sleep at night... but that would have been way before September. How could she build no equity in her home? How could she fritter away her children and her future security in that way...

So now I'm still blaming the bankers, but I'm getting angry with their wives/girlfriends too...

(and their added crime - they make me feel old. Even the 40 yo woman in the last article. I felt like an adult surrounded by a bevy of gorgeous, demanding toddlers, and I wanted to send them all to bed to get a much needed reality check.)

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Sparrow

I was going to write this upbeat and happy thing about what I like about Australians, in celebration of Australia Day (Jan 26th) but that will have to be another day.

I've struggling with reading The Sparrow, by Mary Doria Russell because it starts with a tragedy and goes backwards, so as I read more and more about the characters and grew to like and admire them more and more, I knew bad things were coming. I kept lingering at the good spots, unwilling to go forward.

In the book we find music from another planet, not only conclusive evidence of sentient life, but also of some technological progress - at the very least they have radios. So while the UN and everyone else argues over what to do, the Jesuits at the Vatican buy a mining asteroid (it's set 20 or so years in the future, the book is now 10 years old, but I think it should still be read as '20 years from today' to allow for the technological advances that she needs) and put together a mission of 8 people to get there first, including 4 Jesuit priests.

But the book starts at the end - one priest has returned under the most suspect of circumstances, and the rest of the party is dead... What happened? And finding out what happened is the rest of the book.

Very nicely written, with lots of thought and care. There are 4 Jesuits and the Vatican is involved, so there's religion here, but really warmly and beautifully portrayed. I struggled with getting into it not because it was bad, but because it was good. I didn't necessarily want to know what happened to these fine folk... but I was sitting in a New York cafe as I read the denouement and softly crying there... Really moving. She wrote a sequel and I'm going to read that too. Emotionally engaging and genuinely thought provoking, like all the best science fiction should be.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Love Song

I was watching Colbert Report last night, and he was interviewing Elizabeth Alexander, the poet who had read the inaugural poem (as a side note, I thought she was a better poet than presenter - and why not, they are 2 such very different skills - in that I liked her poem, but she did not read it as well as it could have been read...)

Just blogging her name, Elizabeth Alexander, I saw that the poem she wrote had been an occasional poem, written expressly for the inauguration. I hadn't realized that.

Anyways, she was being interviewed by Colbert, and he was being very funny, making lots of allusions (a poetic term!) to the Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock. Which brought me to thinking about TS Eliot's early signature poem. I studied it at uni (or, in College, as they would say here) and have read it from time to time again, but that theme of middle aged hesitancy and fear of being made a fool of might speak more clearly to me, now that I am middle aged.

T.S. Eliot (1888–1965). Prufrock and Other Observations. 1917.

1. The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock


S’io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s’i’odo il vero,
Senza tema d’infamia ti rispondo.


LET us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats 5
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question … 10
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes, 15
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap, 20
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes; 25
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate; 30
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go 35
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair— 40
[They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!”]
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—
[They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!”]
Do I dare 45
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all:—
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons, 50
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all— 55
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways? 60
And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all—
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
[But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!]
It is perfume from a dress 65
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
And should I then presume?
And how should I begin?
. . . . .
Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets 70
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows?…

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
. . . . .
And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully! 75
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep … tired … or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis? 80
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker, 85
And in short, I was afraid.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while, 90
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”— 95
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all.
That is not it, at all.”

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while, 100
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen: 105
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
“That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.”
. . . . . 110
No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use, 115
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old … I grow old … 120
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me. 125

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown 130
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.


I'm still not Prufrock (and who would want to be!) but I can see him so clearly, that fussy, too smart, too timid man. And it has so many wonderful phrases, (or fragments, to use Eliot's world view) that you just recall - life measured in coffee spoons, the mermaids singing, but not for him, the do I dare to eat a peach, so much depth and richness there. When I first read it, (25 years ago!!) I remember feeling annoyed and excluded, all these images and references I didn't get and had to learn. But now that it is more familiar, the stuff I don't get doesn't bother me as much, and the images that do speak to me, speak more clearly.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

An Historic day

I watched the the Inauguration ceremony today, together with old friends and work colleagues.

It was freezing in Washington, and it looked it, everyone rugged up, the crowds below red faced, the children hiding behind their scarves. I was glad I wasn't there.But I was also glad that I was with friends, with company, it seemed the sort of thing to do with others, not on your own...

And I have to say, I loved Obama's speech. For the past few years I've felt a real incongruity in America. We're at war, but only those directly involved feel it, there's no tax, barely a mention, no sense of a nation with a purpose gearing up behind it. We have an economic crisis but all the New York Times is doing is blathering about how $1250 designer handbags are on sale for $699. I thought to myself, there's no recession if people are paying $699for a handbag! In November everyone was talking about the recession in all the Tribeca restaurants, and all the restaurants were full to overflowing...

DH said we would see it more clearly in January, and indeed, some of those strange little boutiques that I would walk by and wonder who they sold to - they have closing sales signs in their windows. Restaurants are still full, but no one is buying the top of the wine list, and some are not buying wine at all.

And then there was the speech. I really feel that the president will mirror what is going on in the country, and stop giving us that weird feeling of disconnect. Obama is connected and telling the truth, 'the path will be hard' he keeps saying.

Times are tough and some of the fault goes to us, for not looking closely at where we were going. Sure there were those more than willing to lead us astray, but we weren't looking closely. "Our collective failure to make hard choices," I'm glad that he says straight out. We were binging on designer handbags and lifestyles that we absolutely could not afford, and now comes the vomiting and indigestion that follows. I want less excess, less everything, and here is a man, a President, telling me how it is, not how he wants it to be, or how it should be if only those silly Iraqi's knew what was good for them. This is not a man who would tell us to save the economy by going out shopping. This is a man who tells us to save America by making things of worth and giving careful consideration to what we buy and why we buy it.

I really liked his reminder of previous generations and the sacrifices they made 'for us', and what are we doing, the recipients of all this sweat and toil? We need to be worthy of it, and to pass better on to our children, as they passed better on to us. It made you feel like you were in a chain, linked past to future, obligations and efforts flowing all ways...

I like this message and I'm so glad he gave it to us.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

West Elm Disease

I've been wanting to get a console table for the area near our front door for a long time. Currently we have this awful shelf thing there that used to hold DS's toys in our previous apartment. When we moved here, it could not fit in his new smaller bedroom, and was placed near the front door in a sort of holding pattern.

It's 3 1/2 years later and finally I convinced DH and DS that I had found a suitable replacement - the parson's desk from West Elm.
So I dragged them out on an snowy weekend, and we find it, we agree on it (though they didn't even consider the glossy pistachio green one that I secretly wanted) but pushing if for the pistachio made it easier for them to chose the chocolate, so be it.

So we buy the table and are informed that delivery will cost $125 (for a $299 table!) we should find a cab. So we find a cab (in the snow) and he looks at us and our flat packed table and says, it won't fit and drives off. So the smart man in the SUV approaches us and agrees to take us and our table home (it's snowing quite heavily now) for $35. DH hates being ripped off, but agrees. Frankly, I think he could have have asked for $50 and gotten (what other options did we have?) and am happy to have a solution.

The four of us - DH, DS, the table and I all get home. And in true style, we then put the large box against a wall and ignore it.

Now it's a week later. We open the box. It looks, not like how we remember it. I say to DH, what colour does it say on the side? We look at the box. It says bronze. (It's a color so suspect, that they don't even have a sample for me to link it to for you to see) We look at the table again. The shape is terrific but the colour, this sort of dull nothing mustardy brown.

We snap into action. We blame each other. Why didn't you check the colour? Who knew... We search for the receipt, you have it, no you have it. I clearly remember DH signing for it on his amex. It turns out I'm right. He then goes through his wallet. An enormous amount of receipts pour out. I'm impressed. Of course half of them are for sandwiches for lunch. But then he finds a receipt that says West Elm. The entire body of the receipt is totally faded, you can't see a thing, only the very top and the very bottom. However, the very top has a phone number.

I call that number, it's 11.55. The machine tells me that the new winter hours, West Elm opens at noon on Sundays. We all wait 5 minutes. I call again. I speak to a very pleasant customer service manager. She quickly agrees that we can use their recommended hire car company to return the bronze table and then take the chocolate table home, and they will pay for the service both ways.

So we call the car company, which arrives almost immediately. We get in, get there, go to the front desk. The girl asks us if we know if they have any chocolate tables in stock, DH tenses. Yes, I reply slowly, the customer service girl assured us. Ah... so they do... The girl frowns, puzzled and confused by the idea of reimbursing us for the car service, well, Ty, the customer service girl, who I mention by name (I've been in the US long enough, always get their names) and so she asks her manager who gives us her the petty cash box key, which she can't use, so we wait 5 minutes more. DH is hyperventilating beside me, so I send him off to stand with the table at the loading dock. Finally, she gives me the $50 cash and we, having double checked the box, load it and take it home. (and why they couldn't mention this car service option on the snowy day a week ago, who knows...)

This time we don't wait a week, we open it immediately. A rich, dark, chocolaty brown, perfect size and colour... but there is a huge hole in the drawer. We look at it in bemusement. We look at the box. There is a huge hole in the box too. It looks like someone took a hammer to it.

We call customer service, 'oh no!' they say when they hear our tale. We can exchange it ourselves, they'll refund us the $50 car service, or we can wait till Wednesday and they will do a delivery and pick up. We opt for Wednesday.

DH swears to never buy from them again, they are morons working at that store, they can't get a thing right! But they have excellent customer service I say...

Edited to add, weeks later now that the new table is nestled in it's new spot - it really is very pretty and everyone is glad we got it, it makes a big difference. So West Elm works after all.

Friday, January 16, 2009

All about food...

When I first moved to Manhattan, lots of things surprised me. One of them was that people would live with no consideration to where to buy food. In a city where most people don't have cars, I would think people would want to live in walking distance for a supermarket, but plenty of people don't even live in walking distance to bodegas (those small, expensive corner stores, with a huge array of products that never seem to have the one item you want.)

Fresh direct seemed to fill that void. It opened in 2002 or 2003, and you would order on line and it would bring everything to your door and carry all those heavy items upstairs for you. I was very grateful. But like all things you come to rely on, then they go and change. They've been hit hard by Wholefoods opening in Tribeca, and are consequently shrinking their range.

We now have a wealth of food stores in the area - the forlorn Food Emporium (2 separate people have now complained to me that their chicken was off, and had to be returned. I myself bought bad milk from them. I don't know what's going on there, it's winter, outside is refrigerator temperature, how could food go off and still be in it's use by date?) The glamorous and yes, more expensive Wholefoods (though I totally buy their argument that their product is better)

Fresh direct has now taken two of the products that I know and love (and now that I look down my list, quite a few are in that ghostly grey implying that they are no longer available) and if they don't keep their range wide and varied, they'll start to be used like the bodegas - for emergencies only, rather than for staples.

That's my whinge for the day, I'm sorry that the fabulous Kansas burgers are no more. If only they had warned me, I could have cribbed the ingredient list and had a better chance of recreating them... well, it's back to the cookbooks...

Thursday, January 15, 2009

I kissed a girl...

and I liked it, the song of the summer by Katy Perry. Lately Katy Perry has been everywhere I turn, magazines, grammy ads, interviews (she interviews badly, doesn't come across well at all.) At a birthday party one of the forward thinking 10 yo in DS's class threw, they had a dj who played it and the kids all bopped and sang along.

And last night I was thinking of the words, having just heard it on the radio - I kissed a girl and I liked it, I hope my boyfriend don't mind it, and thought, if a boy sang that, I kissed a boy and I liked it, hope my girlfriend don't mind it, it wouldn't work in the same way at all. Two girls kissing, well that's just to turn the boys on, two boys kissing is another world entirely...

Well, maybe in 20 years a version of the 2 boy thing will be in the charts and we'll know that gay marriage is in and we've really come a long way... But not in 2008, we're not there yet.