In tune with my universe

Occassionally, I download stuff on to my ipod and then don't listen to it - sort of like a tbr (to be read) pile, but a tbl pile. So the other day I was listening to Joan Baez on my my computer, and her haunting voice ends, and a new voice starts talking to me. "We're going to talk about breathing, breathing is so important," and I'm already turned off because I hate the way she says breathing, and then I listen because I'm wondering what the hell it is, and how it got on my ipod, and it lures me in and becomes so interesting, and she talks about meditaiton, it's basically a not very high quality recording of a lecture she's giving, and it goes on for about an hour and then ends with a meditation, and it's so interesting and engrossing, I've been raving to everyone about it ever since. Her name is Joan Borysenko, and she's done a whole range of books and cd's. I don't honestly know which one I downloaded, because it doesn't correspond to any on her list (mine just says Meditation, and each track is numbered, not named) But I've ordered her Beginners Guide to Meditation.

I feel calmer, as I've been listening to her meditation daily since then - 15 minutes, not before bed - it calms you down but then wakes you up with a snap, so you feel more alert and engaged, it's not one of those that puts you to sleep. And I'm really enjoying it. Not just the calmness, but also the way it slipped into my universe, as if I cleverly put it in my way to one day stumble over it and make myself better. My higher power at work :)

not quite a valentine...

Every so often I come to this page hoping to read an exciting new installment, and then I have to come to terms with the fact, if I don't write, there's nothing to read.

I'm sick, (just a cough, but it won't budge) and I"m fighting with me 10 yo (I'm not tired, yes you are, no I'm not, and so the song continues) guess who's winning... so nothing too quirky to report.

We just baked dozens of cupcakes for the valentine's bake sale at school, there is something so comforting about a good cupcake. Now they are all pink and sparkly and happy looking. My son is suspiciously counting them before he goes to bed, to ensure that no adult over indulges while he sleeps.

And so life goes on...

Silent Treatment

I had a slightly strange but lovely experience at the hairdressers. This very trendy but older (ie not 20 - 40? maybe) guy cut my hair.
He had the requisite handkerchief over is own corkskrew curls, and really great strong hands when washing my hair, but he was mute. We communicated through gestures and nods and he gave me one of the best hair cuts I've had in ages, and a very warm hug at the end.

I actually preferred it to the weird chit chat you have to go through, he was totally focused on the hair and at the end his smile was so warm, it spoke volumes. But I was impressed that the salon in tribeca would hire him, and also, in a totally casual way, not explain the situation at all. They just gestered to him and he and I got going and I figured out for myself that he couldn't talk. They acted like it was normal, and it became normal. Refreshing (just when you think old tribeca is disappearing, you find a pocket of it) and the cost was reasonable too, though I worry for them, because they are never busy enough when I go there (usually I go for the excellent brazillian pedicures, this is the first time I've had my hair cut there.)

Life Cycles

People in my family are not well right now, and that's a great sadness for me. So I'm sending cyber blessings out to them.

It's such a cycle, but when things are good, it's hard to imagine they'll be bad once more, and when they're bad, it's hard to see good times ahead. Of course, both follow each other endlessly. It's what you remember more - the good or the bad, which makes it work (or not) for you.

I have a faint memory of a poem that I read in England, which essentially said, that the afterlife is a video of your complete life, and every moment of grace and weirdness, of silent crying, of warmth and laughter, of picking your nose and sneaky masturbations, all of it is filmed, and you sit with everyone you know and watch it. And it's both heaven and hell. He wishes you a remote, to fast forward through the bad times and rewind and rewatch the good... It's as good a blessing as any...