Saturday, November 22, 2008

new stories!

I have all these little anecdotes in my life and I've not been putting them anywhere, so I'm back... A few friends told me they missed me and hopefully some strangers did as well...

I've been on facebook a bit - I like it, those one liners which tell the world where you're at. I have friends all over the world and time differences often make it difficult to communicate, but with one sentence and a few photos I can see what's going on in their lives, they can see what's going on in mine, and a sense of connectivity continues.

We've been doing the middle school thing. Someone introduced me to the marvellous phrase 'option anxiety' and that is where we are at. In Manhattan (and indeed in every borough) you don't have a designated middle school that you just go to, like it or lump it. You have a choice. And in Manhattan, you have to fill out a form with 5 choices and you are guaranteed one of them. We have about 18 middle schools we could apply to. Some are easy to cut out - too far, too crowded, not good enough academically. But that leaves you with about 8 or so to visit, and to select. You are not guaranteed your first choice, but weight is definitely given to the top two. So what do you select and why...

And then all the parents and some of the kids go crazy. How can you make such an important decision (next 3 years of your child's education, the path to Harvard or drug addiction (not that they are mutually exclusive, but that's how it someone appears in parents minds - Ivy League or Destitution) the future and all it holds, balanced on that one choice!)with the little information given? You go on tours of the various schools, spouse and child in tow, with 100 other families (or so it feels) and lumber through the hallways, crowding them unimaginably, and try to see it without the hordes of adults, and would your small egg be happy, healthy and learn something here.

Luckily we are spoilt for riches - every school we've been to would work on some level, everything has pluses and minuses. Schools surprise you - one which described as dreadful, better to send your child to the wilderness than go there, turns out to be an ordered, structured environment, none of them look terrible, though often they are really hard to get to - and how does that work, in a city that runs on public transport, to have schools that are close to none?!?

In a fit of bravado I said to DH - let's chose the perfect school and we can always move, we've moved once every 3 times since we arrived in any case. Which is true, we have moved but always with in the same small area. We've lived in Tribeca the entire time we've been here. And on the way home, as I walked down from Soho, I bumped into 3 people I knew, giving me that small village feel, and I knew we would not be moving in any time soon. I really love Tribeca, for all it's changes - it's becoming so upmarket and UES to me (upper east side) and the artistic hobo feeling is definitely going away. Anything slightly old or shonky is quickly being bought out and replaced with something new and glistening. But I miss the $1 shops, and the sense that real people could live down here. Now only the rich can buy in, and it changes the feel of the place.

But I digress... I'm still in middle school search mode, and watching myself and other parents try to decode what would work best is a comedy in itself. I told one parent that I'm going to the PTA meeting of a school I'm interested in and she was both astonished (really you can do that?) and envious (oh, you have time) Well, yes, it's in the evening and I'm making time to go. I'm talking to lots of parents, for the good and the bad stuff, and trying to make as educated a choice as possible, and still it's a crap shoot - you can get into a great school and get the one dreadful teacher there. You can get into a bad school and find an inspirational teacher. So we're doing what we can with the tools we have - as is all parenting...

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