Perking up with Percocet

So, the pain is still here. Isn't that unbelievable? It's been months, literally.

But finally I can think again. They gave me oxycotin and all it did was make me floaty, but the pain still dominated and I still couldn't move. So I didn't take it. Finally I went to the doctor and said, is there another class of painkillers to give me and they gave me percocet. DH's new joke - I'm perking up on Percocet. Actually, it's all about pain management, what can they give you to make you get through the day like a semi-normal human being.

So now, I can sit (for short periods) walk (for short periods) and think (okay, you know the drill...) but it feels like a liberation after the months of literally stumbling through the days in a pain filled haze.

On to other matters... one thing about pain is that it makes you boring (or at least it made me boring) I couldn't focus on anything else. I couldn't even read. I could barely lie and listen to music. I couldn't surf the net, I could barely hold a conversation. So I'm glad to start interacting with the world again, because rattling around in my own foggy head was not fun.

My current obsession? Battlestar Galactica, of course. How I've loved that show. I was so out of it, I couldn't watch it and just let the episodes pile up in TIVO. And then, last weekend, I watched all 9 of them at once, leaving me open for the cliffhanger this w/e. Perfect timing.

This series was uneven, there were episodes that frankly felt like filler, where not enough was happening. But the ending, for this ending I'll forgive them anything...

They just push the envelope again and again, showing us our humanity, and the glories and dangers of it. I'm just so grateful to have such excellent and provocative (in the best sense of the word) television. It makes me want all TV to be that good!

Pain dulls the quirky edge

I realize I haven't written for over month. Have I been gallivanting in Europe, having an affair or won the lottery? Or have I had any quirky edge dulled by pain and done very little. Sadly, it's the latter.

I saw that I wrote on April 6th that I had back trouble so that makes it more than 6 weeks now, that I've had pain daily. You know what I don't like about pain - not that it's painful, which is a given, but that it impact on me is to turn me into someone I don't like. I'm snappy, with low patience, low interest, not moving much physically or spiritually.

So for the first few weeks I thought it would pass, and for the next few weeks I thought this will never pass this is my life from now on, and in the past week or so I've become much more proactive - I changed meds, went to a physical therapist, and then went to a chiropractor that my friend recommended.

The meds are definitely essential, and the physical therapist was okay but no real difference. After one session with the chiropractor I feel hopeful that this is not going to be the rest of my life... I'm having another session tomrrow and hopefully more interesting blogs (and a quirkier life!) will follow....

(I did find meditation helpful, and in my proactive phase have started listening to Joan Borysenko regularly again. She's really very good.)