West Elm Disease

I've been wanting to get a console table for the area near our front door for a long time. Currently we have this awful shelf thing there that used to hold DS's toys in our previous apartment. When we moved here, it could not fit in his new smaller bedroom, and was placed near the front door in a sort of holding pattern.

It's 3 1/2 years later and finally I convinced DH and DS that I had found a suitable replacement - the parson's desk from West Elm.
So I dragged them out on an snowy weekend, and we find it, we agree on it (though they didn't even consider the glossy pistachio green one that I secretly wanted) but pushing if for the pistachio made it easier for them to chose the chocolate, so be it.

So we buy the table and are informed that delivery will cost $125 (for a $299 table!) we should find a cab. So we find a cab (in the snow) and he looks at us and our flat packed table and says, it won't fit and drives off. So the smart man in the SUV approaches us and agrees to take us and our table home (it's snowing quite heavily now) for $35. DH hates being ripped off, but agrees. Frankly, I think he could have have asked for $50 and gotten (what other options did we have?) and am happy to have a solution.

The four of us - DH, DS, the table and I all get home. And in true style, we then put the large box against a wall and ignore it.

Now it's a week later. We open the box. It looks, not like how we remember it. I say to DH, what colour does it say on the side? We look at the box. It says bronze. (It's a color so suspect, that they don't even have a sample for me to link it to for you to see) We look at the table again. The shape is terrific but the colour, this sort of dull nothing mustardy brown.

We snap into action. We blame each other. Why didn't you check the colour? Who knew... We search for the receipt, you have it, no you have it. I clearly remember DH signing for it on his amex. It turns out I'm right. He then goes through his wallet. An enormous amount of receipts pour out. I'm impressed. Of course half of them are for sandwiches for lunch. But then he finds a receipt that says West Elm. The entire body of the receipt is totally faded, you can't see a thing, only the very top and the very bottom. However, the very top has a phone number.

I call that number, it's 11.55. The machine tells me that the new winter hours, West Elm opens at noon on Sundays. We all wait 5 minutes. I call again. I speak to a very pleasant customer service manager. She quickly agrees that we can use their recommended hire car company to return the bronze table and then take the chocolate table home, and they will pay for the service both ways.

So we call the car company, which arrives almost immediately. We get in, get there, go to the front desk. The girl asks us if we know if they have any chocolate tables in stock, DH tenses. Yes, I reply slowly, the customer service girl assured us. Ah... so they do... The girl frowns, puzzled and confused by the idea of reimbursing us for the car service, well, Ty, the customer service girl, who I mention by name (I've been in the US long enough, always get their names) and so she asks her manager who gives us her the petty cash box key, which she can't use, so we wait 5 minutes more. DH is hyperventilating beside me, so I send him off to stand with the table at the loading dock. Finally, she gives me the $50 cash and we, having double checked the box, load it and take it home. (and why they couldn't mention this car service option on the snowy day a week ago, who knows...)

This time we don't wait a week, we open it immediately. A rich, dark, chocolaty brown, perfect size and colour... but there is a huge hole in the drawer. We look at it in bemusement. We look at the box. There is a huge hole in the box too. It looks like someone took a hammer to it.

We call customer service, 'oh no!' they say when they hear our tale. We can exchange it ourselves, they'll refund us the $50 car service, or we can wait till Wednesday and they will do a delivery and pick up. We opt for Wednesday.

DH swears to never buy from them again, they are morons working at that store, they can't get a thing right! But they have excellent customer service I say...

Edited to add, weeks later now that the new table is nestled in it's new spot - it really is very pretty and everyone is glad we got it, it makes a big difference. So West Elm works after all.