Visiting old writings

I wrote this in 2003. Most of it is still true. Not struggling with fear as much as I was (good thing) Still want to have magic powers :)

Friday's Five, done on a Saturday night

1. What's one thing you've always wanted to do, but never have? God, there are hundreds of things... been in an orgy, taken really good psychedellic drugs, been more risk taking, I guess.

2. When someone asks your opinion about a new haircut/outfit/etc, are you always honest? No, it depends how much I hate it, but also how much use my comment will be. If you've cut your hair really really short and it looks a million times better long, what is the point of me saying that? If you ask me before hand, what do you think, should I cut it all off, I will definitely give an honest opinion. Ditto clothes. Are we in the store or already at the wedding?

3. Have you ever found out something about a friend and then wished you hadn't? What happened? An internet friend once told me, and another guy, a whole tissue of lies. It surprised me how shocked I was, I mean the internet is all about masks, but aside from anonymity, I am totally honest, and we had known each other for about 6 months, chatting daily. She told all of us she was 21 and it turned out she was 35 with 3 kids. Surprising for me, but devestating for the guy who was thinking of changing continents to be with her!

4. If you could live in any fictional world (from a book/movie/game/etc.) which would it be and why? Hundreds of them and all of them involve magic. I would live in George RR Martin's Fire and Ice world, I would live in the Liaden world (tomorrow, please) I would live in Ursula Le Guin's Wizard of Earthsea world. I think you are seeing the trend here. Actually I think I resent that I can't live in those worlds!

5. What's one talent/skill you don't have but always wanted? Aside from super-hero skills? I want to read minds, I want to sing, I want to be psychic generally, I want to time travel, I want to be fearless :)

treasures in storage

Had the most momentous month - new baby in the family, such a sweet, sweet angel. We spent too long in hospital with him, but now he is all better.

I also went through our stuff in storage, upset about how much junk there was, and then finding the occasional treasure.

I found this poem I had written when my son was not yet 2 and we were visiting Italy -

In a foreign country
Warm with Mediterranean sun
We seek the cool
of the local museum.

In a fine dusty building
With its impressive courtyard
We carry the pram
Up massive marble steps.

Not giving it much thought
We expected the baby to sleep,
Or failing that, watch the people go by.
But he found another use
For the large empty rooms
And high vaulted ceilings.

As we rushed by golden works of art
Nothing could stop his enchanted chirping
As he experiments with the echoing chambers.
All through the gallery,
His ‘singing’ could be heard.

As I nervously hushed him
One more time
An older woman stopped me,
‘Il contento’, she said, ‘he is happy.’
And we walked into the sunshine smiling.

So happy we have a new baby in our lives... just magic the gifts they give

Making up with make up

I want this. And the stupid thing is, that I barely wear make up.

I have a peculiar relationship with cosmetics. I actually sold cosmetics at the market for 3 years, as my college job, to pay for my car etc, and I loved it. I love the colors, the textures, like coloring in for grown ups. I even wanted to be a make up artist for a time.

So when I saw this professional home airbrushing kit I was filled with lust. Even if I never use it, I still want it (though for $225, I'd better use it occasionally!)

I actually collect cosmetics more than I wear them, but there is something about the colors and the selection, and the playing with them that I just find deeply satisfying.

Luckily I leave for Australia soon, so the need may pass... but then again, if you see me looking flawless in December, you'll know why...

Quote of the Day

I'll report on the Paul McCartney concert when DH gets his photos off his phone and onto the computer...

... in the meantime, here's a quote of the day:

"Do more than belong: participate. Do more than care: help. Do more than believe: practise. Do more than be fair: be kind. Do more than forgive: forget. Do more than dream: work."

by William Arthur Ward.

Good things to think about...

Fat Boy Slim

I had one of the best new years eves, ever, on Bondi Beach in Sydney, with 20,000 others, dancing to the amazing mixes of Fat Boy Slim. He has played in Brighton to crowds over 200,000. And then... came New York City. Cosmopolitan mecca full of sophisticates - and no one has heard of him. He's a DJ who produces his own music, he has a great best of album - with the fabulous title of Why Try Harder. He's cool and quirky and all things good. He charged face value tix of $120 for nye and suddenly he's charging $50 and not selling out...

He came out to Manhattan (he's English and UK based) to play in.. Terminal 5 - where we saw Tom Jones. It holds about 3,000 people. It must have been one of his smallest venues in years. I dragged two friends with us (dancing! house music! Excellent!) and literally counted down the days...

Firstly, I love Terminal 5. The roof terrace was opened and it's all so civilized. Just dirty enough to be rock and roll, but totally safe and with clean toilets (important to us over 35 crowd) It is a 3 story venue, with a huge dance floor and cantilevered balconies overlooking. There are places to sit, space to dance, 3 enormous bars, to buy the expensive but not ludicrously so drinks.

Then the master came out. There was that beat that enters your heart and take it over, the flashing lights and video clips that pull you in, the music, it gives you this trance like effect, no drugs needed.




The crowd was warm from the get go, and 10 minutes into the set were were jumping up and down. We danced till our feet hurt and then, all of sudden, it was 2 hours later and the whole thing just closed down - just before midnight, so working people could go home and get up the next day. I love New York! Sydney crowds don't even arrive before midnight and won't so much as rock their hips before 1 am. To find excellent music, a great venue, to start dancing at 10 and be in bed by 1 am... all too good to be true. I wish he was playing every week. I'd be there. I promise...

(this was a late write up, we went on June 24th. So wish he was playing again...)

Two Wolves

I got this one from my cousins on facebook (where else!) but I really liked it, so I'm copying it here...

A Cherokee Legend

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Rules for Old Age

A perfect footnote for the previous entry - from teenagers to the aged, a 90 year old Rabbi talks of the benefits of aging in the New York Times today

He distills 6 benefits:

1. Increased Tranquility. “You have achieved in old age what you have wanted to, if you are fortunate,” he said. The important battles have been waged, the decisions made. “You no longer have to do the pushing, the striving, the struggle.”

2. A kind of zen caring. "You don’t rush to quick action,” Rabbi Haberman explained. “You’re more likely to stop and think.” These days he’s hardly indifferent to the world’s problems, he added, but he’s less inclined to think he can solve them, or that they’re soluble at all.

3.“The art of submission.” Americans are activists by nature, but “more happens to us than we cause to happen,” he has found. “You have to accept the unalterable.”

4. Able to consider the possibility he’s wrong. He labeled “liberation from the compulsion to set everyone else straight.” He has loosened up since his more dogmatic youth.

5. Gratitude - “I’m more conscious of the little favors people do — the driver who stops and lets me cross the street, the newspaper man who brings my paper directly to the door,” Rabbi Haberman said. He feels more aware of humanity’s interconnectedness. “I am a zero by myself.”

6. Connectedness to Family and Community.

You can find the full version of his sermon here

Now if only we could figure all that out when we were teenagers, what extraordinary adults we might become!


undated picture of the Rabbi