books...

Amongst book collectors of a certain type there is an acronym - tbr - as in my tbr pile is now bigger than my bed. TBR stands for to be read. So you buy or find or collect books on the expectation that you will read them some day. You buy more than you could possible read in one week, knowing that you will want them in the future.

But something happens as books sit in the tbr pile... they start to grow, not so much dusty as stale... somehow not as fresh and appealing as they were when they were glistening on the store book shelf.

So I was watching hoarders: buried alive last night (and DH goes, why does anyone watch that show?  Tivo recommended it, how could I resist...) and I have instituted a new law for myself: if it's in my tbr pile for more than 3 years, I have to accept that I am not going to read it. Especially as now I have a kindle, and am buying new things on it constantly (but no tbr pile there, the thought of a virtual tbr pile terrifies me, the amount of money I could spend there!) When I buy a kindle book, I read it. Done.

Today I went through piles of literally and figuratively dusty books and have created 4 neat piles - those that go to the local charity store (Housing Works is down the block) those that go the local library (I bought an entire series because all the library ones were stolen, perhaps they'll want new copies...) those that go to paperbackswap and find a loving home, and those that are somehow still too fresh to give away and I have reluctantly put back on my shelf and definitely plan to get to and read - by the end of this year!

So here is my oath - no more new books until these ones are read! No matter how shining and pretty they are, I have get through this pile first. Just getting rid of these first 3 bags (there are plenty more bookshelves to go through, but those are books I have read, this were books I hadn't read yet...) but the feeling of space that I am reclaiming is beautiful...

Women over 40

As I grow in age, I value women who are over forty most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over forty will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over forty doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it’s usually something more interesting.

A woman over forty knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of forty give a hoot what you might think about her or what she’s doing.

Women over forty are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

A woman over forty has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. Women over forty couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over forty. They always know.

A woman over forty looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over forty is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one! You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over forty for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of forty-plus, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some twenty-two-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free,” here’s an update for you. Now 80 percent of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.



Saw this piece on facebook, attributed to Andy Rooney, and of course, being me, I had to verify that before I put it up myself and it turns out he liked it, but didn't write it and was annoyed that people kept attributing it to him. Someone said that Frank Kasier wrote it but I read his piece and while it is very similar and clearly the originating story, it's not as elegant. So this is a piece that's been honed anonymously, till we get to this... and I very much like it! Love the image too...

Verifying everything

Quote Investigator is the sort of site I really like - it verifies quotes. I found it when I read on a facebook link - be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle - attributed to Plato. It's a sentiment I agree with, but it does not sound like the Plato I know...

So I googled it and came to this site - which finds it came into existence about 120 years ago at the earliest and possibly even sooner than that.

Do love the web, it both creates and destroys myths with the same charming abandon...


(and the picture is Picasso, but I don't know the title)

The Invitation

I first came across this when I was working at South Pacific Private Hospital, and I loved it then and it hasn't lost its perfume over the years, it's still wild and untamed and joyous... Enjoy


It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithlessand therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

by
Oriah Mountain Dreamer
copyright © 1999 by Oriah Mountain Dreamer.

Celebrity Marriages

Why am I irritated that Kim Kardashian is filing for divorce after 72 days of marriage? Because it debases the entire concept of marriage. Clearly the entire thing was a ratings game. Fine. But she has trivialized something meaningful.


When I read news like this, and then I hear people squawk against gay marriage, because it 'should only be between a man and a woman' I get cranky. If fools can spend ten million dollars on a ratings extravaganza, if reality shows can end with engineered marriages, then why can't people in committed relationships get married and share 401K's and bank accounts and children?

Birthday Wishes

Here's my quote of the year -

No matter how long he lives, no man ever becomes as wise as the average woman of 48

H.L. Mencken US writer and humorist


And here I am, 48 years old and very happy to be here!

Loving what we want to see...

“I loved something I made up, something that’s just as dead as Melly is. I made a pretty suit of clothes and fell in love with it. And when Ashley came riding along, so handsome, so different, I put that suit on him and made him wear it whether it fitted him or not. And I wouldn’t see what he really was. I kept on loving the pretty clothes—and not him at all.”
Scarlett in Gone with the Wind

I see people do this all the time...